Do you every wonder if everything really happens for a reason? If there is, in fact, a purpose in the pain? Do you ever sit and think that you have made a big mistake with your life?

I do.

After graduating high school, I went to be a missionary in a foreign land. I taught school, and I fell in love with the people of Honduras. Three years later, I'm stuck. I have 14 hours of college credit under my belt, and 3 years of missionary work behind me, but I let people make me feel like I am nothing. I never graduated college. I have only had one real paying job here in the states. All I have is my volunteer work, which has taught me not to love Earthly things. Is that wrong? Why do I feel so inferior here in the United States of America? Why do I feel like I am stupid, even though I graduated with a 3.89 g.p.a.? I could have finished college. I plan to start again next fall. But will that make me feel good enough? I doubt it. I need to face my decisions, and learn to have peace with what I've done with my life. I plan to continue mission work after I raise enough money to put a house in Central America, but until then am I just supposed to accept that I'm mediocre? That all I can get is a minimum wage job even though I am bilingual?

I get so down on myself sometimes, I forget to believe that God made me unique and that I took such joy in my work down in Central America. I forget the reasons I left home in the first place. I forget to be my own person and let the judgement of the world fall down upon me. I forget to look into the eyes of Jesus and see His love and grace. I forget... but then I remember.